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"You probably told her what a whore and slut I am." She said starting to blubber."First off, you're not either of those things, and secondly whatever went on between us is part of us, our little share of each other's lives. You're still now, and will always be, my friend and my confidant. Don't over think our situation. What we gave of ourselves was always special and there was always a certain kind of love involved. We can still share that same love, but we'll have to express it in different ways." I could live without the "benefits" part of our relationship, but I couldn't live without the friends part Jess. You're the big brother I always wanted and never had." She said."Well, now you do." I responded."Thank you Jess. I'm a mess, I have to go. Thanks for the talk, OK? I'll see you tomorrow."I felt bad for Mary because I think she just had pride issues with me. She didn't want to get hurt and held out her heart, even though she wanted to get invested in my life. It was a confusing. My boyfriend at the time sneered at it when I twirled around to show him. "Itlooks crummy, Marianne," Lenny said in that exaggerated south London accentof his. "It's too old, darl." "I don't care," I said defiantly, "I love it." Lenny had left school as soon as he could and became a mechanic, focusingon motor bikes. Now, at twenty-eight, he owned a small Ducati dealership, rodebikes all the time while dressed in his brand new red leathers and black helmet.He and his friends would take off on weekend jaunts across the channel andride through France or Spain , leaving me behind in dreary London . I didn'tlike his friends much, all lads who swilled lager and whistling at girls whileogling my breasts, so I didn't care. However, I would have liked to have gone to Paris with Lenny and enjoyed aromantic weekend but he didn't seem interested. His only interest was quicksex and boasting to his mates. At twenty-five, I wasn't interested in becominghis chief cook and bottle-washer that he could.
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